All to Jesus I Surrender

To Him who sits on the throne and unto the
Lamb be glory, power and dominion forever.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

An excellent letter

OK, how many times have we seen some Yankee schmuck (or worse, a scalawag) screw up everything about the flag bearing the Cross of St. Andrew, better known as the Confederate Battle flag; evertything from it's orgin and meaning, to calling it the "Stars and Bars". Below is a beautifully written letter (written by a modern day Confederate who has done much for our Cause) setting straight one of these schmucks. Below his letter is the link to the original article. Thanks, Mr. King for letting me repost your excellent letter! More people need to be educated and you do a great job of educating. God bless you, sir!

Mr. Schapiro,

Others may have already pointed out to you that the "Confederate Battle
Flag" is not the "Stars and Bars". This misidentification is frequent
among journalists not familiar with Confederate symbols, history and
heritage.

The Stars and Bars was the 1st National flag of the Confederate States
of America. It consists of 3 bars or large stripes---red, white, and red
with 7 stars in a circle on the left side (later 11 or 13 stars).

The Confederate Battle flag AKA "Southern Cross" or "St. Andrew Cross"
is the familiar X often incorrectly called "Stars and Bars".

Hollywood, The liberal socialist news media, and the KKK has misused,
abused, and misrepresented the Confederate Battle Flag and perverted
it's meaning in the minds of many Americans to represent racism,
bigotry, and slavery.

The true principles and values the Confederate Flag represents
are--Limited Constitutional Federal Government, States Rights,
Resistance to Tyranny, and Christian Values and Principles.

Why is the Confederate Flag under Attack? Read my article posted below
and learn the truth.

America was founded as a Constitutional Federal Republic composed of a
Limited Federal Government and Sovereign States. Nations must evolve to
survive. However the problem is they always evolve too much. All change
is not for the better. World history records the death of every former
empire. Nations evolve to the point that they stray from the foundations
that they were built upon and decline until they cease to exist. America
has evolved too far and is following the same path to destruction that
the Roman empire followed 2000 years ago. The only anomaly is the
South's fight during 1861-1865 to retain Constitutional Government. The
Confederate States of America fell battling under the banner of "States
Rights". Confederate principles are 1. Limited Constitutional Federal
Government 2. States Rights 3. Christian values. 4. Resistance to
tyranny. Excess immigration (excess numbers of slaves), corrupt
government, and destruction of family values destroyed the Roman Empire
and immigration (illegal and excess legal), corrupt government, and
destruction of family values are destroying the American Empire.
Wal-Mart's recent decision to join and support homosexuals as part of
their diversity program underscores the decline of family values. They
refuse to adopt Confederate principles and values as part of that
diversity program.

Southern Senators and Congressmen voted against the destructive bills
that were voted into law by the other sections of the country. Georgia
Senator Richard B. Russell and Senator Strom Thurmond of South Carolina
were two of the most stalwart. Southern "common sense" has almost ceased
to exist in American Government. The Northern Socialists who own
Hollywood and the mass media actually control America. Through movies
and TV the American public are unknowingly brainwashed. They believe
they are watching harmless fictional entertainment. Research proves that
young people develop and form values, opinions, and beliefs while
watching such "harmless entertainment". They are being indoctrinated for
the coming "New World Order"--A Socialist Godless "One World Government"
under the United Nations. Hitler and Goebbels understood the power of
propaganda and the Northern Socialists that control America do also.
They want Americans to eat Big Macs, watch TV programs like Seinfeld and
vote in sham elections and be proud to be Americans. We should be proud
to be Americans but we need to realize what is happening behind the veil
of propaganda.

When the South lost the war in 1865 Confederate General Robert E. Lee
told his men to go home and be good Americans. Southerners did this and
have fought America's wars in larger numbers than any other section of
the country. Yet we are attacked by the media and made the nations
whipping boy and the butt of jokes as "gratitude" for our contributions.
Why? Because the South is the most Christian Conservative part of the
nation. These liberal socialists have two goals for America 1.Destroy
Christianity and replace it with Secular Humanism and 2. replace what is
left of Democracy with total Socialism. Once they destroy the Christian
conservative South the rest of America will fall in line like sheep
behind Secular humanism and Socialism. That is the real reason they want
to destroy Confederate principles and values. The infamous Communist
Karl Marx said "a people separated from their heritage are easily
persuaded". So under the "Moral High Ground" guise of black civil rights
they have carried forth their propaganda campaign. They are using black
activists to unknowingly do their "dirty work" for them. They also use
what the infamous Communist Vladimir Lenin called "useful idiots" to
help accomplish their agenda. Those who are helping destroy Confederate
heritage fit in this group-- "white liberals with a guilt complex".
Liberalism is all about "feelings" as opposed to "fact". These "useful
idiots" also include Southern politicians who help remove Confederate
flags which are a symbol of the principles and values America was
founded upon.

The politically incorrect 752 page book "The South Under Siege
1830-2000" explains in detail what has happened and is currently
happening in America. It is available from Amazon.com or from myself
jkingantiquearms@bellsouth.net

In the United States of America, there are only two directions left.
Either we will reclaim our heritage, or we will surrender our
Constitution and Sovereignty to the chains of slavery. The most
compelling question that the people of the United States have always
grappled with is how to build a government strong enough to preserve
order and yet leave society free enough to prevent tyranny.

James W. King
Antique Classic Collectible Firearms Inc.
PO Box 70577
Albany Georgia 31708
229-436-0397
jkingantiquearms@bellsouth.net


New Confederate Flag Fight
By JEFF E. SCHAPIRO

http://www.wsls.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=WSLS%2FMGArticle%2FSLS_BasicArtic
le&c=MGArticle&cid=1173352709966&path=!news!localnews

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Under God

Let's keep God in America and lose the Pledge of Allegiance. Why should we get rid of the Pledge of Allegiance?

1. None of the Founding Fathers wrote the Pledge of Allegiance. The original Pledge of Allegiance was written in the early 1890's by a Yankee socialist defrocked preacher for the "benefit" of Southern school children.

2. We shouldn't pledge allegiance to a rectangular piece of fabric. We should pledge allegiance to God and merely salute the flag of a constitutional republic (assuming we had the flag of a constitutional republic to salute).

3. The United States, unfortunately, is not a true "republic" any longer. We lost that when the Union forced the Southern States to remain part of that which became the U.S. empire.

4. Union is good in a constitutional republic, but the United States should not be "indivisible" at the point of a bayonet.

5. While ideal, "with liberty and justice for all" is fiction in the United States today.

Yes, it's still "the best country in the world," but that's like saying that this snake is less poisonous than that snake. I don't like getting bitten by any of them. When we've lost the little that remains of true America, we won't be "the best country in the world" any longer; we'll be just another dictatorship. "Under God" is the only part from the Pledge of Allegiance that we should keep. Though most Americans would disagree with me about getting rid of the Pledge of Allegiance, that's my opinion. I wonder how the Founding Fathers would feel about it, considering that they preferred liberty over tyranny.

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Monday, April 09, 2007

Sad news

I'm ashamed of my State. Well, not the entire State. But I am ashamed of those voted in office by the People, to be of service to the People, which seem to be doing a bad job of serving.

The NC Senate passed an "official apology" for slavery. In a Bill passed by the Senate, it afforded that the system of slavery that was LEGAL (an institution that grew thanks to the YANKEE slave trade, but that's another blog in itself) 150 years ago is the cause of the many dysfunctions of many Black communitites TODAY.

Well, I have a different theory. There are 2 major causes for the dysfunction of not only a large portion of the Black community, but for American society in general. The first is just down-right sin. That is the bottom line-a lack of godliness and a personal pursuit of Christ's holiness and righteousness. Because we've been inundated by the PC'ers, New Agers, Humanists, Evolutionists, Communists, Socialists, and other ungodly "ists", we have become a society that anything goes, if it feels good-do it!, super sexualized, immoral, immodest bunch of people whose critical thinking and common sense skills have been flushed down the toilet.

The second reason for the dysfunction of society is the government itself. When Abraham Lincoln destroyed America by making shredded wheat out of the Constitution, he set into motion the beast of federal tyranny that has grown larger than life and runs rampant amongst us today. When the federal government took away the Peoples' right to govern themselves, and exchanged it for the ability for IT to govern us, we started our downward spiral, slippery slope we are now on.

At the beginning of all of this, it left much of the Church in apathy. The job of the Church is social welfare; feeding the hungry, encouraging the poor in spirit, building and running hospitals, being a light to a dark world where those wandering around in the darkness would see the Light of Christ and come. But the federal government didn't say to the Church, "We'll help you do these things", it said "We'll do these things instead of you." And the Church instead of saying to the government, "No, you do your job and we'll do ours" said "OK, you can do whatever you want." That has left the Church in America floundering, and therefore is the basis for my first reason above.

Now, I realize there were some few courageous souls who have fought against this tyranny from the start. Today there are fewer still. And there dont seem to be any in the NC Senate.

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Friday, March 16, 2007

check these out...

Take a look at some of America's worst presidents...would you be suprised to see who made the list?
HERE, & HERE


The celebration of our Christian beginnings in Jamestown:
HERE

This is one of the most disgusting things I've seen! And we the taxpayers will foot the bill...
HERE

Thank you diversity police. Your persistence has now lead us to perversion and disgust. I am so glad we are a society that now thinks that all beliefs and all cultures are equal. It gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that events like this will be praised and celebrated by certain members of certain special interest groups whose sole purpose is to promote their own interests and not the interest of the people at large.
HERE

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Two Peas in a Pod

There are two things causing quite a stir around town lately. And while these two things are separate in function and in essence, they are definite bedfellows and where one is, you will most certainly find the other. I'm sure you've heard by now the 'insensitive' remarks made by Ann Coulter at a large conservative rally. I'm also pretty sure you heard the news that ol' Al Sharpton got the other day. And I'm even guessing that you may have heard the latest from the great state of Virginia. Oh, and let's not forget the buzz word 'reparations.'

In case you're still wondering, the two companions I speak of are "political correctness" and "offense."

Now, I happen to be a big fan of Lewis Grizzard. And for those few out there who have ever cared to read my posts in the past, you probably would remember this.

I was having a Grizzard moment tonight. I felt the desire to pull off my bookshelf one of my personal favourites, "Southern by the Grace of God." Lo and behold, to what did appear to my eyes! I had quite forgotten all about this piece he wrote called "I wish I was...Politically Correct in Dixie"; I figured I'd just might as well share it with you. So, y'all sit back and read this. Oh, and if you dont find this politically correct enough and you take offense, well, I just dont know what to tell you. But I do know that 'sorry' ain't it!

{I certainly agree with all those who have protested the playing of "Dixie" at Southern football games.

Although slavery isn't mentioned in the song, it still makes people think of the Old South, where every white person owned African-American slaves.

"Dixie" is definitely a politically incorrect piece of music. Even the word is offensive to some, and I apologize to those who are offended by my use of it.

But I'm proud to say my alma mater, the University of Georgia, years ago rid itself of any connection with the song or the word you-know-what (see, I didn't use the word that time, as I despise offending people).

The Georgia band used to play the song at football games. But not anymore. The only place they still play the song is at the University of Mississippi. They also wave Confederate flags and they allow prayer before a football game.

I'm not certain how long it will be before members of the Speech Police move in and shut down such rephrehensible behavior, but it could be any day now.

Georgia not only stopped playing the song, it even changed the name of the band, formerly known as the Dixie Redcoat Band. It became simply the Redcoat Band.

That prompted my stepbrother, Ludlow Porch, the famous radio talk show personality, to fire off a letter to the editor suggesting the following: "I applaud the dropping of 'Dixie' from the name of the University of Georgia band, but let us not stop there.

How can we allow the word 'red' which stands for communism? And the word 'redcoat' itself is an affront to the memory of all those Americans who fought against the redcoats of England in the Revolutionary War.

And 'band.' Poncho Villa had a 'band' of desperadoes and we had to send brave young soldiers into Mexico after him. So 'band' should go, too, and that just leaves 'The', which is a dumb name for a large group of musicians, so I guess they're just out of a name altogether.

I believe if we really try we can wipe away all symbols of the Old South forever. There's a company in Savannah that makes Dixie Crystal Sugar. Sorry, it's just Crystal Sugar from now on, and don't give me any grief about it.

And there's even a Dixie highway in the South. It should be referred to from now on only as Highway. As in, 'Well, you take Highway, then go down three blocks and...' There are even people named Dixie, believe it or not. They will have to get new first names, or go by their middle names. And if anybody named Dixie lives on Dixie Highway, the Speech Police will likely demand they be shot.

And if the song and word 'Dixie' are symbolic of the Old South, I guess we ought to stop using 'Old South' as well. Instead of saying 'Old South' perhaps we can refer to it as 'Back Then,' and we can roll our eyes when we use it so everybody will know we aren't talking about when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, but when slaveholders used to go around singing songs like 'Dixie' and 'Eating Goober Peas.'

But wait. 'Eating Goober Peas' is a song from Back Then, too, so don't anybody dare play that at a football game.

Songs about killing innocent people, incidentally, are just fine.}

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No Offense, but I'm taking Offense

OK, it's time. I got into another Lewis Grizzard moment tonight. It's been a few months since I sat down and read any of his work. So, I took one of my favourites, "Southern By the Grace of God" off the bookshelf and leafed through.

Everybody it seems is offended by something or another these days. I'm sure I've even offended some friends lately. I dont mean to, but somehow, I do.

Well, in light of this, I came across this piece by Mr. Grizzard, "No offense, but I'm taking offense." So, I shall share it with y'all. Oh, and please, dont be offended!

{I'm offended.

I never thought I would say that because I'm an easy-going type of guy who figures it's a lot less stressful not to let anybody get to me.

But these are the 90's, and getting offended is "in", like drinking bottled water, refusing to eat red meat, and cursing smokers.

Hardly a day passes that somebody doesn't make the news by getting offended.

Sister Souljah, the rap person, rapped about killing while people, and then she became offended because Bill Clinton said she was a racist for doing such a thing.

Jessie Jackson, who was born offended, also got offended by Mr. Clinton's remarks, so it was a 2-on-1 fastbreak, two offendees on one offender. Hardly sounds fair, but that's baseball these days.

And that brings up Native Americans becoming offended by Atlanta Braves fans' tomahawk chop and criminals becoming offended by the name Texas Rangers, since Texas Rangers are law enforcement people who nab a lot of criminals and send them to jail.

So why should I be left off the bandwagon of offendees? It's a free country, isn't it? Here's why I'm offended.

There was an article on the front page of the Atlanta newspaper the other day concerning suburban Clayton County promoting itself as a nice place to live in order to persuade more Atlanta area people to move there.

The second paragraph began: "Feeling that the county has been treated for years as metro Atlanta's redneck stepchild..."

That offended me.

In the first place, I know the orgin of the term "redneck" and several members of my family fell into that catagory.

"Redneck" got its start when ruralites came to town on Saturdays to buy feed, seed, and maybe a new pair of brogans.

These people made their living working in the fields under the hot sun growing food, a very worthwhile endeavor, and their necks often became sunburned.

Townfolk, who tend to be snooty, thought these people ignorant, uncouth and undesirable because they tended to drive pickup trucks, listen to the Grand Ol' Opry on the radio Friday nights, and to be humble.

They were easy to pick on, in other words. My grandfather was one of those people. He made his living from behind a mule, and his neck got red. He also liked Ernest Tubb, and I never heard him make a loud, bodacious statement of any kind.

He also was the most gentle, caring person I've ever known, and I'm glad he didn't live long enough to see the term applied to him become such a derisive label.

In the second place let us discuss the term "stepchild."

In the context it was used - redneck stepchild - it seemed to indicate someone of that description was a most undesirable individual.

I spring from those who worked the soil and became red of neck, and I had a stepfather, so I was a stepchild, and that makes me twice offended.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to ride around in my red blazer - a sort of pickup truck - and pout.}

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Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year! May this be the year of the Confederate!












Now here is something you dont read about in many government school text books. Click on the link below for some rather interesting history that you did not learn in your US History class in high school. Thanks Clint for writing such a great article.
Also, dont forget there is a holiday of great importance this month. Make sure you mark your calenders for January 19 to celebrate the birthday of one of our finest heros and a very godly man, a man who bravely went to the front of the battle for liberty......General Robert E. Lee.
There's a new website I'd recommend to all...take a look at it! But be forewarned....if you are a Yankee, liberal, or the PC gestapo (or a combination of all three....yikes), you may not like what you read. However, all those folks out there who understand the War for Southern Independence and it's acurate history, this will be a wonderful addition to your arsenal of truth.
I wish all y'all a very happy and safe New Year.

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Friday, December 08, 2006

Create an annoyance, go to jail!

Ever wonder what really goes on in Washington? Well, here is something we all should read. Doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy? Big Brother does such a great job protecting us! Check out the latest in security! http://news.com.com/Create+an+e-annoyance,+go+to+jail/2010-1028_3-6022491.html

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Friday, September 22, 2006

Tribute to 2 "late, greats"-Lewis Grizzard and Fred Arnold

Sometimes people come along and leave their mark on the world and when they die, the world has lost something. I remember when I was in high school, my grandpa became ill and would eventually pass away from this illness.

As a kid "Papa" and I would watch "Hee Haw" together and thanks to him, I got my love of country and bluegrass music. Being with him, I got to learn the music of Eddie Arnold, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams and the likes. He would take me on walks to my great-Grandma's house and we would walk through the rows of her garden and he would always point out what this was or that was.

I remember after he got sick, he couldn't really get out much anymore, so my mom would check out books from the library for him. I think she checked out every Lewis Grizzard book the library had at the time. And again, thanks to him, Lewis Grizzard became a favourite writer, commentator, comedian, and defender of the South.

Recently I came across a book in my library that I haven't read in about a year. Of course, I'm talkin' about a book by Lewis Grizzard. "Southern by the Grace of God."
I thought I'd leave a few of the more memorable excerpts here.

BORN RIGHT

"All of us native Southerners knew it was coming. And now, it is here. The Sunday paper carried a large article about Northern migration to the capital city of the South.

In the metro Atlanta area, the article said, native Georgians still have the edge, but it's not an overpowering one and the margin is dwindling. Said the article, "The migration patterns that brought Northeasterners to Atlanta's elite northern suburbs also sent people from the other regions to spots around the metro area. These settling patterns....have brought a new sense of place to dozens of Atlanta neighborhoods, influencing everything from the local politics to the inventory at the corner grocery store."

The article also quoted Yankee population expert, William Frey of the University of Michigan, as saying, "The nice Southern flavor of Atlanta may be diluted a bit with all the Northerners moving in."

The nice Southern flavor of Atlanta may be diluted a bit....

I certainly understand why somebody from the land of freeze and squeeze would want to seek asylum here. A friend, also a native Southerner, who shares my fear about losing our Southern flavor, put it way: "Nobody is going into an Atlanta bar tonight celebrating because they've just been transferred to New Jersey."

So what should I expect as my beloved Southland becomes more populated with migrating honkers? (Honker" Northerner with a grating accent who always talks at the top of his or her voice.) Will Southerners start dropping the last part of everybody's first name like the honkers do? Will I forever be Lew? Will Mary become Mare? Will Nancy become Nance? Will Bubba become Bub?

Will the automobile horn drown out the lilt of "Georgia on My Mind"? Will they dig a tunnel through Stone Mountain so native New Yorkers can remember the dark, choking atmosphere of the Lincoln and the Holland Tunnels? Will Harold's barbeque, 45 years in business, lose it's clientele to delicatessens where you have to scream at the top of your voice to get somebody to take your order for pastrami on pumpernickle?

Will the downtown Atlanta statue of the Phoenix, symbolic of the city's rising form the ashes, be replaced by a statue of Sherman holding a can of lighter fluid? Will grits become extinct? Will corn bread give way to the bagel? Will everybody, including native Southerners, start calling Atlanta's pro football team the "Fall-cuns" like the Yankee sportscasters, instead of the way it's supposed to be pronounced, "Fowl-cuns?"

Will "freeway" replace "expressway"? Will "soda" or "pop" replace "Co-coler"? Will Southern men start wearing black socks and sandals with Bermuda shorts? Will "Y'all come back" become "Git outta here"?

I was having lunch at an Atlanta golf club recently. A man sitting at another table heard me speaking and asked, "Where are you all from?" He was mocking me. He was mocking my Southern accent. He was sitting in Atlanta, Georgia, making fund of the way I speak.

He was from Toledo. He had been transferred to Atlanta. If I hadn't been 46 years old, skinny, and a basic coward with a bad heart, I'd have punched him. I did, however, give him a severe verbal dressing down.

I was in my doctor's office in Atlanta. One of the women who works there, a transplanted Northerner, asked how I pronounced the word "siren." I said I pronounced it "si-reen." I was half kidding, but that is the way I heard the word pronounced when I was a child.

The woman laughed and said, "You Southerners really crack me up. You have a language all your own."

Yeah, we do. If you don't like it, go back home and stick your head in a snow bank. We really don't care how you said it or how you did it back in Buffalo.

I read a piece on the op-ed page of the "Constitution" written by somebody who in the jargon of my past, "ain't from around here." He wrote white Southerners are always looking back and that we should look forward. He said that about me. He was reacting to a bumper sticker that shows the old Confederate soldier saying, "FERGIT, HELL!"

I don't go around sulking about the fact that the South lost the Civil War. But I am aware that once upon a long time ago, a group of Americans saw fit to rebel against what they thought was an overbearing federal government. Ther is no record anywhere that indicates anybody in my family living in 1861 owned slaves. As a matter of fact, I come from a long line of sharecroppers, horse thieves, and used car dealers. But a few of them fought anyway - not to keep their slaves, because they didn't have any. I guess they simply thought it was the right thing to do at the time.

Whatever their reasons, there was a citizenry that once say fit to fight and die and I come from all that, and I look at those people as brave and gallant, and a frightful force until their hearts and their lands were burnt away.

I will never turn my back on that heritage. I am proud to be a Southerner. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: I'm an American by birth, but I'm a Southerner by the grace of God."

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

In case you Yankees haven't figured it out yet...

Here is another installment of "You might be a Yankee if...". This is from the brilliant mind of a God fearing, Bible believing, Christian Confederate brother in Oklahoma.

Thank you, my friend, for letting me post your talents here!

You might be a Yankee if...

~ You don't like to be confused with the truth.

~ You have an aversion to the truth when it threatens your favourite myths.

~ Money and self-gratification mean more to you than Christian morals and honour.

~ You, like, say "like" in, like, almost every sentence.

~ You think it's part of being a good Christian to idolize the US flag, including in church.

~ You wear your ballcap backwards to look "cool."

~ You like to dress and behave the same as gang members and rappers from Los Angeles.

~ You wear pierced jewelry in bizarre places of your anatomy.

~ You listen to rap "music."

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Sunday, September 03, 2006

How to tell if you are a Yankee

Even though this has gone around cyberspace a few times, it gets better every trip around. So, I thought I'd post it here for "educational purposes." Have a Dixie Day!

YOU MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF:

1. Your wife opens the door for you.

2. You let doors slam in anyone’s face (male or female).

3. You think dinner and supper are the same meal.

4. Your philosophy is "there oughta be a law."

5. You escape high taxes in the North and vote to raise them in the South.

6. Your socks match your "outfit."

7. You're a winter resident of "Floorida."

8. What's on TV tonight is important.

9. Who won the academy awards is news.

10. You believe your newspaper contains news.

11. Y'all is one person.

12. You wave at the lady with the flat tire.

13. You consider yourself a "progressive" instead of a nosy, busybody do-gooder.

14. You talk through your nose.

15. You fall for a Southern used car salesman turned president.

16. You're patriotic no matter what the government does.

17. You're offended by Southern symbols in the South.

18. You talk with your mouth full.

19. Your parents never taught you to say “thank you.”

20. You think addressing your elders as “Sir” and “Ma’am” will hurt your self esteem.

21. You consider your car a status symbol.

22. You take the Wall Street Journal so your neighbors will see it in your driveway.

23. You call everyone “guys.”

24. When you want others to think you’ve done something extraordinary, you holler, “Yesssss!”



YOU'RE A D---YANKEE IF:

1. You think you live in a free country.

2. You truly believe that Abe Lincoln freed anyone, anywhere.

3. You think it was “for the best” that the North won the War for Southern Independence.

4. You consider the citizens of the Confederacy to have been traitors to the US.

5. You see nothing at all wrong with the Union Army attacking the South and the Union Navy blockading Southern ports.

6. You think you have a right to tell Southerners how to live, and if they don’t agree, to force them.

7. You think it’s funny to depict Southerners as ignorant, slack-jawed, buck-toothed, inbred, violent, backwoods, beer-swilling, potbellied rednecks who just need to lighten-up and learn how to laugh at themselves.

8. You cannot fathom why Southerners would not want to keep company with you.

9. There’s some part of the statement, “Leave us the h--- alone!” that you just can’t grasp.

10. You think our struggle for independence from you people is over.

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